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As an educator, one of my biggest fears has been the threat of a school shooting. I have spent countless hours in my classroom playing out scenarios in my head. How would I react? What could I do to keep my students safe? Where are the best exits from my classroom? What is in my classroom that could be used as a weapon? Do I have the nerve to do what needs to be done or will I panic? It is a subject that haunts my thoughts more than I care to admit.
In the past few years, as the topic of school shootings has slowly consumed my thoughts, I’ve found myself obsessed by school shootings. I’m definitely not obsessed in a morbid way. My heart breaks for all the families, students, and teachers involved in such tragic events but I’m fascinated by the events. I feel a strong desire to learn everything I can. What were the shooters’ motivations? Did the shooters exhibit signs beforehand? How did the people there react? What could they have done differently?
As much as I was interested in learning more about the Columbine tragedy, I was also terrified of this book. The first year I taught high school, Rachel’s Challenge visited our school. Rachel’s Challenge is an organization started by the family of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine shooting. Rachel’s Challenge seeks to create positive environments in high schools around the country and end harassment, bullying, and school violence. I was twelve when Columbine happened. I knew a shooting occurred by that’s really all I’ve ever known until I attended the Rachel’s Challenge presentation.
After the assembly, several of my coworkers and I were discussing it and one of them mentioned Dave Cullen’s book, Columbine. I ordered it that evening and it sat on my bookshelf for the last five years. The mother and educator in me was terrified of this book even though a huge part of me felt that I needed to read it to educate and prepare myself in case I ever find myself in such a situation.
When school started this year, I made the decision to be as transparent with my students about my own reading habits as possible. I have two lists posted in my classroom. One lists the books I’ve read since school started and the other is a list of books that I want to read this school year. I also wanted to set an example for my students by choosing books from all genres and books that would challenge me. I made sure Columbine made it on my to-read list. I flew through every book on that list until only Columbine was left. I knew I had to bite the bullet and read the book in order to be accountable to my students.
Though I had been apprehensive about this book, I really ended up loving it. Dave Cullen’s writing style immediately hooked me and I couldn’t put Columbine down. I ended up reading the book in just a couple of days. It does not read like a typical nonfiction book but more like a crime novel.
My fears that this book would bother me were only partially realized. I found myself obsessing over the contents of this book long after I shut the cover. I was flabbergasted by the inappropriate police response and investigation. It became very obvious that the training I have received as an educator for these situations is a direct response to the mistakes that were made at Columbine High School.
I’m grateful that I read this book. While parts of it did bother me emotionally, which I think is to be expected given the subject matter, I feel much better educated and prepared to react if I ever find myself in such a situation. I also feel as though I can be more of an advocate for students that exhibit disturbing warning signs and behaviors in my classroom.
Dave Cullen lays out the facts in a clear cut manner that makes the events that took place at Columbine a bit easier to understand. He addresses rumors that circulated after the events and clears up many misconceptions about the Columbine tragedy. I think his assessment of the two boys based on their pasts and the journals they left behind was spot on.
Overall, I enjoyed this book way more than I had anticipated. While school shootings are never an easy topic, Dave Cullen’s Columbine is an excellent place to start for those who are seeking to better understand the school violence epidemic plaguing America right now.
